Wow! If this hasn’t been the worst start to anybody’s year I’ll eat someone else’s earwax. Firstly, New Year was a damp squib with nothing really mental happening, but maybe that’s what every night’s like when you’re not drunk, good way to kick off the resolutions though. Days later came an infuriating dose of the mumps that made me look like Desperate Dan: but swap cow pie with crabsticks and soup. It also drained me so badly that I couldn’t even revise (oh, the humanity). All of this was made even better by the fact that the first doctor failed to mention: the tiny detail that it might have affected my nuts; or anything that would help speed up the recovery – thanks Wikipedia.
As soon as that began to wear off it was time for a totally hardcore, making-up-time, cramming, revision-fest for what was left of the exam period, and as if that wasn’t bad enough insert a seagull attack before the first exam then a squawking bird & two rude invigilators, all hell-bent on screwing up the second one. After three days off, of which I worked two, it was straight back to the library for non-stop dissertation reading, I would however like to buy the person who decided it was ‘OK’ to carry out construction work outside both sides of the QML a few pints... of industrial bleach.
Some other signs that you may be spending too much time inside a library: (i) you’re able to recognise fellow losers by just their phone or the books on their desk; (ii) you go entire days without opening your mouth with the exception of saying ‘rice please’ to a dinner lady; (iii) other people talking begins to infuriate you – librarian style; (iv) you experience feelings of fury and misery when someone else sits at your desk; (v) life becomes so mundane that writing silly words like ‘fuck’, ‘tits’ and ‘yaldy’ in your notes actually makes laugh out loud.
Further events from this month that have engaged the rage include back pain from slouching over desks for so long, being treated like a leper by Ms Macbeath in town (note to self: this is the fastest way to burn bridges) and finally, the piesta resistance... being randomly attacked by three total arseholes. Although happy to escape with a fat eye and all my valuables, I just can’t get my head around the mentality of someone that thinks trying to unexpectedly knock out complete strangers is acceptable fun. They’re officially the first people I’ve ever wished death upon, a pretty good indicator of how great this year has been thus far.
Other than everything mentioned above, this year has actually been completely amazing!
Apologies go out to anybody who actually made it this far through the depress-fest, but hopefully there’ll be some better news next time disguised as exam results, job prospects and my first proper Valentine sendage – although probably best not to count on it.
As soon as that began to wear off it was time for a totally hardcore, making-up-time, cramming, revision-fest for what was left of the exam period, and as if that wasn’t bad enough insert a seagull attack before the first exam then a squawking bird & two rude invigilators, all hell-bent on screwing up the second one. After three days off, of which I worked two, it was straight back to the library for non-stop dissertation reading, I would however like to buy the person who decided it was ‘OK’ to carry out construction work outside both sides of the QML a few pints... of industrial bleach.
Some other signs that you may be spending too much time inside a library: (i) you’re able to recognise fellow losers by just their phone or the books on their desk; (ii) you go entire days without opening your mouth with the exception of saying ‘rice please’ to a dinner lady; (iii) other people talking begins to infuriate you – librarian style; (iv) you experience feelings of fury and misery when someone else sits at your desk; (v) life becomes so mundane that writing silly words like ‘fuck’, ‘tits’ and ‘yaldy’ in your notes actually makes laugh out loud.
Further events from this month that have engaged the rage include back pain from slouching over desks for so long, being treated like a leper by Ms Macbeath in town (note to self: this is the fastest way to burn bridges) and finally, the piesta resistance... being randomly attacked by three total arseholes. Although happy to escape with a fat eye and all my valuables, I just can’t get my head around the mentality of someone that thinks trying to unexpectedly knock out complete strangers is acceptable fun. They’re officially the first people I’ve ever wished death upon, a pretty good indicator of how great this year has been thus far.
Other than everything mentioned above, this year has actually been completely amazing!
Apologies go out to anybody who actually made it this far through the depress-fest, but hopefully there’ll be some better news next time disguised as exam results, job prospects and my first proper Valentine sendage – although probably best not to count on it.
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